The old song by The Clash might be catchy (and it might even be stuck in your head now), but you probably don’t feel much like singing when you’re considering whether you should get a divorce or not. If your marriage has been in trouble for a while, you’ve probably thought about the idea of a divorce more than once.

Divorce can change your life in many ways. It’s often a difficult journey from start to finish. When you’re separating from your spouse and negative things are being brought to light, your self-esteem often gets rattled. In order to effectively get through this major life change and move forward, you have to be able to rebuild that self-esteem. So, whether your former spouse was the one that broke down your self-esteem or the divorce process itself made you question it, recovering and feeling worthy again is the best thing you can do for yourself.

If you thought things were secure and your spouse suddenly files for a divorce, it can be the shock of a lifetime. You weren’t expecting this. And while you felt some recent disconnection with your spouse, you’ve felt this way before, and things always got better.

Making the decision to get a divorce is the first step in what can feel like an overwhelming process. No matter what terms you’re ending things on with your spouse, a divorce is a difficult time for everyone. But not every divorce is the same. Understanding that you have different options can make it a little easier. And what’s most important is choosing the process that works best for you

Look for the silver lining in your divorce throughout the entire process. It won’t always be easy, and it may take some work. But with time and effort, you can begin to realize that getting a divorce may have been the best thing you could do for yourself.