When you go through a divorce, you go through a loss. It can be a loss that feels just as heavy and overwhelming as a death—perhaps even worse.
While going through a divorce can make you feel tired, stressed, sad, or even angry, it can also put you in a fog-like state.
The situation of dealing with so many changes combined with fear, uncertainty, and hurt can send your mind into “defense” mode, where everything starts to seem hazy and uncertain. Unfortunately, this can lead to problems like anxiety or depression.
So, what can you do to help clear the fog?
It starts with taking care of yourself. That might not seem easy to do in the midst of a divorce or right after. But by taking the time for self-care, you can find your way out of the haze.
Consider three dynamic self-care tips.
Tip #1: Find Supportive Friends
It’s easy to feel totally alone when you’re going through a divorce. You’ve lost your partner—the one you were supposed to spend your life with. Whether the divorce was an amicable one or not, that’s still a hard reality to accept, and it can leave you feeling very lonely.
Surrounding yourself with a support group is one of the best ways to take care of yourself. Be with people who will lift you up and be there for you, no matter what you need. This might include your existing circle of friends or family.
But you might also benefit from joining a support group for people who are in the midst of divorce too. Hearing from people who are going through similar situations can help you to feel better, and it’s often easier to share your feelings when you truly know someone else will understand.
Tip #2: Seek Counseling
Supportive friends can be a great way to pull yourself out of the fog of divorce. But, if that support isn’t enough, counseling can provide help in a way that family and friends can’t.
Everyone deals with divorce differently and every situation is unique. If you need someone to truly listen and help you to make sense of what happened, a counselor is equipped to do so. Counseling can help you to understand what may have really caused the divorce and why. It can also help you to better understand your own feelings and how to take care of yourself.
Moreover, counseling is a great catalyst for helping you to move forward and think about a better, brighter future for yourself. So that, eventually, you can live free from the fog you’re currently in.
Tip #3: Focus On Your Purpose
Speaking of moving forward, one way to do that is by focusing on your purpose. When you’re married, it’s easy to lose a bit of yourself. Your identity becomes a part of your marriage. You’re one half of a team.
A divorce changes all of that, forcing you to think about who you are now, and who you are going to be.
When you start to focus more on your purpose, you can stop focusing so much on the past. Of course, a counselor can help you to discover this purpose. But you can start by thinking about what really fulfills you or what you’ve always wanted for your life but never had the opportunity to try.
Your purpose might end up being your career, or your children, or a passionate hobby. Whatever the case, focusing on that will cause the power of that fog to dissipate so you can better embrace your new identity and the next chapter of your life.
If you’re going through a divorce or you need help re-establishing your sense of self, please contact the San Diego Divorce Counseling Center at www.DivorceCounselingCenter.com and click the Call Now button, or call us at 619-865-3203, to set up an appointment.