So, you made it through the holiday season, but that might not be saying much. Simply “making it through” the holidays isn’t where anyone wants to be, especially when it comes to describing your marriage.
It’s officially a new year now, and for many people, that means resolving to be better and do things differently. So if you think you truly can’t face another year of your marriage, now is the perfect time to accept that reality and take a closer look at it.
Maybe you’ve been in denial about your marriage for too long. Is it time for you to get out? Or is your marriage worth saving?
Signs of an Unhappy Marriage
Chances are, you already have a pretty good idea of whether you’re happy in your marriage or not. If you’re telling yourself it’s time to get out, there are probably reasons why. But, if you’ve been holding onto a broken marriage for years, there are certain signs you can look for to determine whether it may be time to let it go.
Some common problems that showcase a loveless or unhappy marriage include:
- You no longer have sex with each other
- You don’t have anything to say to each other
- You’re never engaging in the same activities
- You’ve been ignoring your instincts to get out
- You think about what life would be like without your spouse
If you can relate to any of those, what your gut has been telling you all this time might be worth listening to. You don’t have to pretend that your marriage is okay when it’s broken. In certain instances, though, it may be able to be fixed.
Is Your Marriage Worth Saving?
First, it’s important to understand that if a marriage is falling apart, it takes two people to put it back together. Both spouses have to be on board. If you truly do want to save your marriage and so does your partner, there are also signs that it’s worth saving.
Again, trust your gut. If you truly have doubts about leaving, ask yourself why. There might be some valid reasons why you should stay.
If communication is faltering, but you still feel respected in the marriage, that’s another big reason you might consider staying. When those things are still there despite the struggles, you may be able to put the pieces back together. But when there’s a breakdown of respect and communication, it’s unlikely the marriage can be fixed.
What to Do When You Can’t Go Through Another Year in Your Marriage
There are several options to consider when you feel like your marriage is over or that you just can’t go on doing what you’re doing anymore. You can try to go to marriage counseling if both you and your spouse are on board. But, if you’re truly ready to get out, you can free yourself from the confines of stress and unhappiness by separating or getting a divorce.
It’s an easy thing to say, but not always an easy thing to do. Even when your marriage is broken, divorce is never easy. But it can be the first step toward embracing a new life for yourself.
There is no shame in walking away from a marriage that couldn’t be fixed, especially if you’re the only one putting in any effort. You’re not alone in your decision. And getting a divorce can help you start to take back your life and feel more like you once again.
If you’re considering divorce or you need help thinking about, “the next steps,” we are here to help and can provide you many valuable resources. Please contact the San Diego Divorce Counseling Center at www.DivorceCounselingCenter.com and click the Book Online button, or call us at 619-865-3203, to set up an appointment.