Making the decision to get a divorce is the first step in what can feel like an overwhelming process.

No matter what terms you’re ending things on with your spouse, a divorce is a difficult time for everyone.

But not every divorce is the same. Understanding that you have different options can make it a little easier. And what’s most important is choosing the process that works best for you.

Some couples are able to keep their divorce process amicable, while others may have no choice but to utilize the court process.

Whatever position you’re in, learning more about your options is definitely helpful. The more informed you are about how to get through your divorce, the less stressful it can be.

The Collaborative Practice group of San Diego offers a monthly workshop called, “Divorce Options” where you can find out about your choices in going through the divorce process. During the workshop these options and their pro’s and con’s are discussed:

Choosing a “Do-It-Yourself” Divorce

Many people opt for a DIY divorce. While it’s not the best option for every situation, if there aren’t many things you and your spouse will disagree on, it can keep you both from having to hire lawyers and go through a long, drawn-out court process.

A do-it-yourself divorce starts with getting the right paperwork. You could research this online. Many times, though, you’ll need to visit the court clerk. In San Diego, you can visit the Family Law Facilitator’s office for more information about filing your paperwork. And while they will not give you any legal advice (they can’t!) they can assist you with finding the necessary forms. They’ll also be able to give you more information and resources about how to get through the process effectively.


Mediation allows couples going through a divorce to meet with a neutral third-party individual who specializes in conflict resolution. The sessions are confidential. The mediator will guide the gathering of information. Mediation is a way to help you and your spouse reach agreements on things like finances, property, custody, visitation, etc. Mediator’s remain neutral through the divorce process and some things to consider are; will the playing field be level, can you and your spouse both negotiate effectively? Does one partner have a better understanding of finances than the other? All of these things impact negotiations during mediation, and you may want to consider consulting with a Family Law Attorney. At the San Diego Divorce Counseling Center, we are happy to share referrals, please see our contact information below.

Collaborative Divorce

A collaborative divorce can be a great option to consider. Collaborative is a family centered way to divorce. The clients chose a team that is designed to meet their needs throughout the divorce transition. Each client has a Family Law Attorney that is advising them along the way for the sake of the family. Everyone is transparent with information, concerns and family goals. They each have a Divorce Coach who specializes in supporting communication skills, emotion management and distress tolerance. The clients chose a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst who is neutral, leads meetings, and has an extensive knowledge of the financial situation. When children are involved, the couple also choses a Child Specialist, also a neutral team member, who is there as a voice for the child(ren).

You control the outcome of your divorce and stay in charge of all decisions.


Unfortunately, not every divorce is managed out of court. Litigation certainly is route that becomes necessary for some couples. Not only does this get expensive quickly, it can also put you on an emotional roller coaster that could last for quite some time (especially with children).

At the San Diego Divorce Counseling Center, we would like to help you make the best decisions for you and your family. We offer support for difficult thoughts, feelings and behaviors throughout the divorce process, regardless of the process you chose.

If you’re going through a divorce or you need help regaining your sense of self, please contact the San Diego Divorce Counseling Center at and click the Book Online button, or call us at 619-865-3203, to set up an appointment.